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MEET Tatiana de Weber – Wedding Planer, Genius Organizer and Working Mum

Tatiana de Weber is a wedding and event planner. A true vocation for her, which she has followed for five years with passion, dynamism and empathy. Tatiana sparkles with Brazilian charm and temperament. The 46 year old was born in Brazil, but has been living in Germany for over 20 years with four boys (three sons, one husband).

After studying German and Media Studies, she worked for publishing houses and television until, after the birth of her third son, she took the plunge into self-employment and founded an agency for event and wedding planning, Tatiana de Weber Eventdesign und Hochzeitsplanung. Her concepts are unique and extraordinary.

With a lot of Brazilian sensitivity and temperament, confident taste, inspiring ideas and remarkable organizational talent she develops true art concepts for weddings, birthdays, parties…

In our interview she tells us how she manages her working day and her family life, how she found her dream job and how important a good business look is for her.

How did you discover your passion for planning weddings and parties?

A party has always been the occasion for me to live out my creativity and to enchant unforgettable moments. My family celebrates everything and I have absorbed that very much. Every smallest occasion is enough for a special frame. For example, a pizza evening with friends means so much to me that I want to make something special out of it.

At first I only tinkered with the ideas in a private setting. I wanted my guests to experience beautiful moments that they could remember and enjoy afterwards. After the birth of my third child it became more and more complicated with the irregular working hours. When friends asked if I could organize their party and then acquaintances and colleagues, the idea arose to make me independent with my great passion. So everything came together and fate took its course. Actually, my job is an extension of my lifestyle. The job has found me, so to speak!

What made you decide to take the step into self-employment?

The one thing is to discover what you enjoy, the other is to create something meaningful out of this fun, an activity that fills you.

I was never a woman who only wanted to be a housewife and mother, not even as a girl. Many women may find something they really enjoy, but they don’t do it professionally. I see it differently. The opportunity for exchange and creativity is so important to me that I finally decided to start my own business. And I haven’t regretted that so far. I am very curious and would like to constantly experience something new, just no repetitions. This way I can develop new ideas. My days should be filled with creativity, change and exchange.

What do you think is the best thing about your job?

The nicest thing is that I work with happiness. People who get married and celebrate are happy, they hope, they believe, they are enthusiastic – it’s about 1000 positive feelings! This inspires and satisfies me immensely. Sure, the brides are of course also excited and nervous. Often the planning is not without problems, ideas are discarded and taken up again, you have to rethink frequently, but joy and happiness outweigh everything. To be able to accompany this path is something very special to me. When the small pieces of the mosaic finally join together to form the big whole, it just feels great and makes me as happy as my bridal couples every time. That’s something very, very beautiful.

How and where do you find inspiration?

That is kind of funny, you can hardly find a wedding magazine with me. I try to stay away from the whole wedding industry because I think creativity comes from the courage to try something new. The ideas basically start in my head and not on the screen. That’s why I find it very important from time to time to switch off all these media channels, to free myself from the millions of images in Instagram and Co. and to come up with new and above all own ideas and concepts. I don’t want to repeat anything at all.

Rather, I find inspiration in foreign industries, such as garden and interior design or art. Accordingly, my mood boards aren’t so beautiful, simply because the idea didn’t exist yet and is always very individual. Sometimes that is a problem with the brides at first, but thank God they trust me. I don’t have a perfect concept for a maritime wedding in a drawer. Every concept is new and unbiased. That’s what makes them so special, unique and personal.

Do you think that women generally have to fight harder on their way?

Totally. And it gets even worse when the wife has family. Nowadays anything is expected of us. In past years it was certainly still more clearly separated, the woman had her position, admittedly often a stupid one, but the distribution of roles was regulated, she was not questioned.

Today, everything you do is actually wrong. You are looked at obliquely and people ask what you actually do all day, if you longstay at home. If you work full-time and don’t get your child out of day care or kindergarten until 5 p.m., everyone is horrified, because you don’t have to have children for that. However, if you pick up your child at lunchtime, the child will have far too few social contacts… Besides, of course, you have to be the best friend, the best housewife, the best mother and the best wife. It’s just a lot.

The realization of a woman is often equated with selfishness. The world is very, very strict with women and also not clear in their expectations. Ultimately, one must free oneself from these expectations, follow one’s own needs and find the right path for oneself.

The role of women in society is a major issue right now. Where do you see differences between Brazil and Germany?

There definitely is. In Brazil there is much more of a two-tier society. The profession ‘housewife’ does not exist as such. Either you belong to the privileged group and you have staff who throw the household for you and take care of your children. This woman goes to work in any case and has also mostly enjoyed an excellent education.

Or you belong to the large part of the population that has to work hard to survive. The structure is therefore very different, a working woman is definitely not a big issue in Brazilian society, but something quite normal.

That is already different in Germany. A large part of the problem lies in Germany, however, to the women themselves. It’s all about envy, ambition and competition. Rather, we should all stick together and support each other.

Are there any role models for you, or were there?

I guess, my greatest role model is my mother. My mother is an interior designer and from her I have a passion for colours, patterns and fabrics. So many times I have observed her how she created a completely new world from a simple floor plan. And at that time there was no internet. It was a very haptic approach.

I repeat her story a little bit. My mother was a successful lawyer at first, which was extraordinary at the time, and then switched to interior design at the end of her 30’s. A very courageous step, indeed. At the age of 40, I also decided to take a completely new path. So my mother really was and still is a great inspiration for me.

What advice would you give to your young self?

If I were 20 now, I would listen more to myself and not to what is expected of me. I would do what I really enjoy doing.

In principle, there are only two ways. Most young people are under pressure from their families and society. You have to make up your mind. Either you suffer at the beginning or at the end. If you decide to go your own way at the age of 20 and thus stand up against your parents’ house and the whole ‘normal’ world full of lawyers, insurance agents, teachers… the road will certainly be very rocky at the beginning, but at 40 you are (hopefully!) fulfilled. Or you meet the expectations of your parents and society, you actually go their way, that’s easier at first. But in the middle of life comes dissatisfaction.

My advice in any case would be to listen to one’s own heart, that always speaks the truth and to have the courage to assert oneself.

Career and family, the never-ending topic: how do you manage the balancing act?

I have to say, my husband is involved a lot. He can arrange this professionally meanwhile quite well and is my biggest fan :). In addition, my starting time is his most stable time, meaning that he has already achieved what he wanted to achieve and can now support me accordingly. That works very well. It’s different when both start at the same time and want to build something up, that is a more complicated situation.

What does a good work-life balance look like for you?

I would like to say I relax by running, cooking or swimming. But in fact, my work is my relaxation. Actually, I relax best when I can work on a concept, calmly and alone, without anyone bothering me. That’s what I like to do best and does me a lot of good.

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

Happy with my loved ones. That is at least the goal and that is completely sufficient for me. My life is in the here and now, I am rather a doer and epicure, I am very reluctant to speculate about the future. I think that if you make an effort from your heart and work to make your days beautiful, make others happy, take care of yourself, have fun with the many little things in daily life, then you don’t have to worry about the future. She will certainly be magical.

How important do you think is a suitable business outfit?

This is very important. I find the idea of dressing the same in my job as well as in my free time completely absurd. Your business wardrobe also has to fulfil a picture, an expectation. It must fit you and the business and be coherent. The outfit can be part of the marketing strategy. The task, the job, the goal must be reflected in every little thing and in any case the outfit belongs to it.

Is there a business outfit for you in which you always feel good?

The white blouse. I think I certainly have at least 48 of them… A white blouse is like an empty sheet of paper to me that can be easily described. We all don’t have much time and a cool white blouse is an ideal base, at best with a collar that frames the face wonderfully. And then I like to spill colours, even strong ones. For me the easiest way to appear elegant, charming and smart. And also age-appropriate. From a certain age to appear in a completely freaked out outfit, I find inappropriate. If you’re like that, fine, I’m not.

What book is on your bedside table right now?

Honestly, I don’t get much reading done lately. My head is often full of information and pictures even in the evening. I prefer to look at illustrated books, at the moment about Japanese gardens. And books for my little son, you can certainly find those there. Right now we are trembling with a little mouse looking for his mama “A case for Buffy”…